Gay Club Jet Lag

“I hate Gay Halloween…” 
How about you just admit you hate gay people? Oh… clocked. Gathered. I, for one, love Gay Halloween. And before anyone pulls up the receipts (@Anike), I admit this is a rather new development. Why the change of heart? Did three Gay Halloween ghosts visit me in the night? Well, yes. Their names were Captain Morgan, Penjamin, and Addy. Just kidding, police… mom… anyways.

It’s true, though. I used to hate Halloween. For one, it seemed like a roadblock to the most elite holiday, Christmas. I believe that general society should observe Christmas on September 1st, but due to the majority’s fascination with Halloween, I settled with October 1st. In recent years, Christmas haters have tried to relegate the season and its music to November 1st. This does not allow one enough time to prepare for the season.

And so, I dismissed Halloween as fluff. An interruption to my peace, a nuisance. One could also describe the gays in this way. Because of this, I’ve been asked to reconsider my position many times, particularly by my friend and Halloween advocate, Anike. She often insists that it’s Gay Easter. As a survivor of Catholicism, this comparison only turned me off more, and I didn’t understand the correlation, especially considering how hard the gays go for Halloween.

I mean, two Halloweekends? I’ll take any excuse to go out but come on. Not only do I have to buy tickets, but you’re expecting me to have costumeS? Plural? However, when I realized what this weekend would require of me, I began to respect the game. I’m back to weekday raves and five-day benders, a habit that usually peaks in June. The allure of parties and reasons to drink hooked me into Halloween, and the further I sink in, the more I appreciate the season.

It really clicked on Saturday afternoon when I went to the park to write. I was hungover (as usual) and the music from the night before was still pulsing through my veins, pounding in my head, and tugging at my heartstrings. Namely, Chappell Roan’s “Pink Pony Club” and “Believe” by Cher.

What an odd combo to hear b2b, I thought. After all, these two tracks are Pride anthems, and one rarely gets to hear “Believe” by Cher at the gay club unless it’s June. As monumental and incredible as that song is, most DJs preserve it for Pride season, given its universal message of survival and self-actualization. Of life after love, if you will. Going back and forth between the two, I began to cry into my iced coffee. I couldn’t place the cause of this outburst until I stopped to look at my surroundings in the streets of Bushwick.

Queers, faggots, lesbians, and trans people, Yankees fans and Mets fans (no one talk to me about last night), and a few random straights all in the same neighborhood, minding their own business and living their truth. Some even in costume, without shame or judgment. That’s when it hit me- Halloween is a second Pride. It’s a chance to uplift our culture and remember why we love to be gay.

The Art of Reference, Gays, & the Internet
On the surface, both Halloween and Pride are times to celebrate debauchery and hang out with our favorite gays. Even the most quiet, lamely homebodies step out of their comfort zone to join in either celebration. Both holidays share a message that orbits around the idea of facing one’s fears, and, with proper reflection, that arrives at a point of self-acceptance. 

At its core, our modern understanding of Halloween is rooted in an opportunity to reference our favorite pieces of media, art, and culture. This is a very gay thing. Think about how in the 40s and 50s, gays were referred to as “Friends of Dorothy,” a nod to one of the earliest recorded examples of diva worship, Dame Judy Garland. (I mean just listen to Judy Garland At Carnegie Hall…) 

Throughout history, references to certain films, actresses, musical divas, works of art, or whatever you like, have been used to identify Community spaces. As an example, it’s one of the reasons why drag is so popular and crucial to the foundation of our Community. Reference is a way to honor the people and music who help us feel safe and accepted.

Now take the trend of the “Gay Halloween” meme. On social media, you’ll find many sharing pictures of their ridiculous costumes, some of them niche references only understood by a slim portion of society that’s too online. But let’s think deeply about this. 

If you’re part of The Community in any way, you probably have a special relationship with the internet. I know I wasn’t the only one who watched High School Musical (2006) and then promptly used the family computer to google “Zac Efron penis” (an incident that has never since been acknowledged by my parents or my sister who caught me and told them). Before I turned 16, I had a twitter account I didn’t let friends or family know about because it was a space to explore my interests and express myself. It’s where I discovered Ariana Grande’s music, and where I learned I liked watching videos of boys kissing. Coincidence? I think not.

The internet (though deeply flawed and in many ways dangerous) offered me and many other queer people safety. Yes, there were unsightly chat rooms and darkly influential tumblr pages, but despite the negativity that may hide inside of it, the internet still represents a place of refuge for a lot of us. Therefore, doesn’t it make sense that gays are drawing heavy inspiration from the glory days of twitter? Aside from memes, we’re also encountering niche references to films that were certainly bootlegged or clips that we can rewatch endlessly on YouTube. 

Following this, one could argue that internet culture comprises part of Gay culture- and isn’t that the aim of celebrating one’s Pride? In the age of technology, the art of reference extends to the internet. If you can find it on google, you can wear it as a costume for Gay Halloween. If you can find it on google, surprise! It belongs to the gays now. Even if no one gets it, you then get the joy of sharing culture with your neighbor.

As a result, Halloween is an extravaganza of camp, a proud Community tradition. To then include internet memes is an evolution of camp. All Halloween costumes are created equal- even the girls who dress as cats with the silly headbands are valid. At this point, with all the vitriol that Halloween Cat Girls have received, it’s camp for them to wear their costumes so proudly, year after year. And camp is gay! It’s your human right to wear the cat ears at least once in your life. 

Sex & Performance
Of course, something else to consider during both holidays is the opportunity to look sexy. In June and October, we’ve all seen our friends obsess over how much skin they’re showing, if it’s enough, if it’s too slutty, can they do more, etc. Sometimes, we’re the ones stressing. The only difference is that during Halloween, we have to deal with the burden of coat check. 

In both events, there’s also a level of performance- Halloween’s performance lives in the realm of costuming, whereas in June, we perform our sexuality. There’s an expectation to dress slutty to celebrate freedom, even if this doesn’t necessarily make everyone feel liberated. Also, considering that it’s during the summer, people will show up to the function almost naked simply to escape the heat. Pride’s shirtlessness fills gay spaces with an aura of competition and comparison which often segregates The Community based on lines of gender, race, weight, sexuality, and beyond. 

As for Halloween, I can go to the rave dressed as Where’s Waldo and pull just as much as the guy dressed as a can of Pringles or the guy dressed as the sexy Toy Story hooker. Think about the possible pick-up lines- “I found you” (Waldo). Or, “Mmm. I want a bite of that” (Pringles). Or, “Hey, you hookin’?” 

No one’s out of consideration because of what they look like. A strange look may even work to your advantage because participation is sexy. You can be extremely ridiculous and still fuckable- and doesn’t that describe most of the gay people you know? The magic of Halloween is being able to wear as much (or as little) as you like, and being able to participate fully in the holiday.

No matter who you are or what you wear, if you commit, we can all dress up as one of the three Halloween genders- goofy, slutty, or mix of both- and partake in communion in some Queens or North Brooklyn warehouse. And if you don’t want to participate in the sexual games, Halloween makes it a lot easier to avoid them. You can still go out dancing in your costume and be part of the celebration. If the club’s not your wish, there are greater opportunities to accommodate your vibe, like house parties or classic trick-or-treating. 

Non-Believers
So if the two major gay holidays are Pride and Halloween, Pride is like Gay Christmas and, as my friend Anike prophesied, Halloween is Gay Easter. Anyone and everyone celebrates Christmas and will forget the reason for the season, including outsiders. Just as non-Christians turn it up for Christmas, allies dress in rainbow to convince us they don’t hate us in June- but they often crash the party. But during Easter, no one ever tries to join, and on Halloween, the straights mostly mind their own business. 

If I go to church (the gay club) I’m probably not going to have to deal with non-believers (the straights) because it’s not their religion to begin with. Of course, there will always be straight people in gay places and I don’t have time to craft any poignant discourse about that, but it’s less affronting during Halloween because at least their presence doesn’t totally undermine the celebration, so long as they participate, ie: wear a costume. Straights can’t participate in Pride besides decking themselves out in rainbow, so it comes off as performative. If they participate in Halloween, they wear a costume and thus engage with our cultural practice of reference. 

Pride 2
Halloween celebrates the resilience and creativity of The Community. It’s Pride Reloaded: Roman’s Revenge-the Re-Up. Truly, we wear costumes throughout June just as much as in October. But, it’s a rainbow costume, meant to perform the idea of Pride, whether or not we feel it. We do this mostly because we’re gay, and we can’t change that, so we take what we can get. What is malleable, however, is culture, and the only way it survives is through the act of sharing it.

During Halloween, we still wear costumes, but by the nature of it being a reference, it represents and uplifts our culture without giving preference to any kind of body or level of sexuality. Wouldn’t you say that sounds like a more inclusive version of Pride? By dressing as what we love, with the people we love, and dancing to the music we love, we’re reminded that love is all around us. And if love is love and love is the message of Pride, does Halloween not represent a sincere opportunity to celebrate this message? 

This isn’t to rag on Pride, though- it’s a key time of year for many, but I think it’s important to identify other times of year when the feeling of Pride is available to us. After all, when else am I going to get the chance to queen out to Donna Summer and Barbra Streisand with a group of gays in wigs and a toy zebra? 

It’s just as easy to connect to the songs and messages of Pride during Halloween because I’m dressed like a freak, a non-human, a character, or an idea- which allows space to acknowledge that in this world, I do sometimes feel like a freak, a non-human, a character, an idea. But rather than be sad or dwell on the pain and misery that can cause, I get to choose to be a freak and enjoy myself. In fact, it’s part of Halloween that you’ll enjoy yourself the crazier you get. It turns out, I’m no monster. Underneath the facade and other people’s projections, there’s a beautiful human underneath, and I don’t need anyone’s approval to know that. 

So basically, this Halloween made me believe in life after love… Halloween is Pride 2. I cried on Saturday because I realized I love my little gay life, and I love my little gay friends. At this time of year, there’s so much opportunity to celebrate our Community. Halloween is about dressing up, sharing what we love, and facing our fears. On Halloween, we’re truly free. And isn’t that the scariest thing of all?