Gay Club Jet Lag

Hello all. It’s July first, which means I am straight now. Woof. Is anyone else violently hungover today? Time flies when you’re having fun, and June was no exception. How I feel today reveals that my body is a temple—the Temple of Doom. But that’s the best Indiana Jones movie, so I can say that it was all worth it. Though my corpse is crying out for rest after this year’s Pride Weekend Events Marathon, I feel a sense of accomplishment. One might say I feel… proud. 

Compared to June’s endless onslaught of outings, my calendar for July looks a little more sparse. Perhaps events will populate as we forge ahead but I look forward to resting. Tonight, for the first time in 30-plus days, I will be queening out at home and doing absolutely nothing. I’m going to read my book! Maybe I’ll order out for dinner. I’ll possibly watch a crappy movie with my friends. For once, I don’t have to leave my apartment. Ah. Bliss. It’s a welcome change of pace. 

I want to reflect properly on this past month, but I was so drunk for most of it that it’s all kind of a blur. Here’s a visual representation of the past week in particular.

…I just read that sentence back and it sounds like I’m an alcoholic but I promise I’m fine.

Anyway, a few highlights I do recall from the past 30 days are being drunk on a Beyoncé-themed boat, the Twinks vs. Dolls Olympics, and sandwiching a bottomless brunch with my girls in between two raves. In other words, I lived. And if you’re curious about what underscored this delightful romp of a month, here are my top tracks of June.

For the third month in a row, “Nasty” by Tinashe takes the top spot. Talk about an insane chart run! I’m so pleased to watch this song take the world by storm. If you haven’t converted to Tinashe’s gospel, trust that you will in time. 

Speaking of women who are saving pop, we finally received Charli XCX’s opus BRAT (2024). This seems like the perfect time to declare June 2024’s-

MOTHER OF THE MONTH: CHARLI XCX

I mean, is anyone surprised? The album is playing everywhere. Turn your head and you’ll see someone or something boasting brat green. (It’s going to be interesting to watch corporations transition from their pinkwashed Pride aesthetic to brat… bratwashing?) The album and its cover are so instantly iconic that Receiptify has a BRAT-flavored top tracks receipt! 

Whether you like it or not, it is undisputedly brat summer. I heard “365” four, maybe five times at the club last night and I screamed at the top of my lungs every time I heard that delicious beat kick in. With the “Girl, so confusing” remix, Lorde is having a PR miracle after Solar Flop (2022) that makes me believe she can make good pop music again. Oh Charli, Charli, Charli. You wizard, you. 

In addition to seeing Charli pop up everywhere, I’m also noticing that pregames are alive and well. Some might say they are So Back. Respectfully- my impact. I called for a return of the pregame and you listened. At least my girls did. And now that we have proper party-girl music, they’re only going to get better.

Another form of picking up the pieces of an unforgettable night that I don’t remember is revisiting the notes app. Under the glow of a disco ball, the spirits move through me and give me spurts of wisdom. Here are a few quotes from the notes I think are worth sharing.

Normalize sitting on the floor of the club 

Anytime something doesn’t go your way with someone, simply say: “they didn’t match my freak-” and move on

Let’s make out at Dunkin’ Donuts

Ariana Grande was right

Well everybody’s tired.

But she was also right about another thing- the light is coming 

The Gays have such an important relationship with their music. Though we are the tastemakers of society, it seems that the heterosexual population only gives us credit for that in June. It’s kind of like Christmas music- our shit just went out of season. Not to mention, there’s a generational divide in our community as the younger Gays brush off the old divas of pop and the older Gays reject the new ones. 

I saw a post, however, that warmed my heart, comparing songs that old Gays love with new ones that young Gays love. Though I don’t agree with all of the pairings, the concept makes me smile. Not to mention, the comparison between “MacArthur Park” and “End of an Era” is inspired. Here’s the image below.

So to close out my reflections on June 2024 and properly close out this year’s Pride, here’s my version of this, drawing both from this list and my own whimsy. A few highlights include the following-

“Heartbreaker” & “Boy’s a liar pt. 2”

These songs embody what it’s like to be a beautiful person (Mariah, Isis, Pinky, Me) and go through heartbreak. Both tracks feature a glittery production quality, a delicious rap verse, and an iconic music video. All three artists released these tracks when they were in their very early 20s, revealing a universal experience in this stage of life- dating a loser you can’t help but keep coming back to.

“Talk talk” & “Edge of Glory”

Ah, glory. Both Charli and Gaga seem to have similar definitions of the concept, one which I define as the moment when you’re drunk and about to make out with a hot person. And if you’re lucky, you actually like them. These songs capture the thrill of when the anticipation of first contact comes to an end.

“Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Man After Midnight)” & “More More More”

Songs with three words in the title! Songs about being horny! Disco! You can’t ask for much else.

“Green Light” & “Need to Know”

Songs about being horny but needing to plan it in advance! 

Ultimately, I don’t have to mansplain all of these pairings to you because I think as you listen it’ll become obvious. If you listen and don’t agree? Ok! Make your own playlist! Here’s mine. 

Anyways, happy July. I’ll see you guys later. I’m going to go find a wife and work in Finance now.